Catchlights

Tip 2 from the Unexpected Everyday was about catchlights and catching the light in your subjects eye.  I love that in pictures but I also love the thought of catchlights in life!  For me, catchlights are those moments, sometimes fleeting, where you catch the light of your loved one.  That moment when your heart skips a beat or that moment that just brings a smile to your face without thinking about it. Sometimes I get caught up in all of the "have to do" items in my life or I get caught up trying to keep up with everyone through Facebook or Instagram or Twitter.  Often too worried about missing someone else's big moment or announcement that I miss THE MOMENTS in my life.  I am trying to disconnect from my phone more often and reconnect with my family.  I am trying to set an example (though not always successfully) and encouraging the rest of the family to disconnect from technology and step outside or have a conversation.  Today we pulled everyone away from technology to put out pumpkins, lights, ghosts and one giant spider getting our house decorated for Halloween!  I love fall and love getting the decorations out, so even if it is still warm, I can still celebrate fall!

My littlest cooperated for a few pictures tonight as I tried to work on catchlights and I think I managed to catch a few.  While we were decorating, he and I were talking about Halloween and I got to "catch" one of those moments!  I have ordered part of his Halloween costume that is being made by a individual more talented in that department than I, and he is anxiously awaiting its arrival.  He was continually asking when his costume would come and I kept telling him that a nice lady is making it.  At one point he said to me "MY lady is making it!?"  She and he may never meet each other, but he is claiming her in the way that only a 3 year old can!  I love that he claims me too!

Tonight was a Spider Man night!

And some of our Halloween decorations!

Spider Man was a little unsure of the spider visiting his house!

The beautiful night sky!

Focal Point

It's amazing to me how it felt like a weight was lifted when I wrote the first post on this blog.  The physical urge I was feeling to get thoughts out of my mind has lessened, but there are still moments where I think about something and want to write it and put words to the thoughts.  Of course, most of the moments seem to happen when I am not near a computer or able to write something on my phone and when I return home life happens.  Life, spouse, children, craziness, wonderfulness.

I was not sure when I created this blog what I would do with it, what I would share, what I would write about.  I still am not in a place to say that this blog will be ___________.  If anyone would like to fill that blank in for, have at it!  Decision making is not always my strength!

But, I have decided one thing I will share and that is my photography journey, which includes my crazy family, learning who I am, and trying to work my way through the maze of life.  I have always liked taking pictures but other than having 1000s of pictures, I have not invested the time to learn the art of photography.  About a year ago, I made the splurge to purchase a DSLR camera but am just now learning about it!

I have found The Unexpected Everyday photography ebook through Click It Up a Notch and I am diving in!  With 30 tips, it will be 30 days of photos!  They might not be 30 days in a row, we will see if life cooperates!

Today, was day 1 and it was about focal points (a nice place to start as I try to determine the focal point for the blog!) and the prompt was to photograph your child(ren's) feet!

Saturday mornings in our house normally involve both boys up earlier watching shows on their iPads. I am normally up with them and since it is football season, College Game Day will be on the t.v. and I will enjoy my morning cup of coffee while reading a book and listening to football news and predictions in the background.  It is actually a time I love before the craziness of the day begins, which normally means trying to get everyone ready to head to the baseball fields for a day of games!

I love seeing these two together!

Can you tell we are sports fans, with the Astros blanket?  Funny thing is, we are Rangers (and Indians) fans!  Though we do root for the Astros, but they are not our top team!

Joy Among the Chasms

I'm not really sure what I am doing here.  6 years ago, I had a blog and it told the story of my son and his 1 hour and 57 minutes of life.  It also told the story of the 28 weeks that I carried him and the grieving and joy and complete range of emotions of telling him "Hello", "I love you" and "goodbye" in a moment.  I wrote there this morning to tell him happy birthday, and then I came here.

In there years since my son was born, I have not written much, maybe because I have never considered myself a writer.  Maybe because I did not think I had anything to say.  But in reality, there have been so many thoughts in my head that have felt like that had no where to go, except to continue to circle and at times overwhelm my mind.  I think I may not have written because the thoughts were nothing of interest to anyone else.  It could have been fear that someone might actually read what I write and I am a people pleaser and cringe at someone not liking something I do.  6 years ago when I wrote and shared some of my fears and distraught emotions, I was facing my greatest fear.  The fear of watching my child died overshadowed any fear of what others might think or say.  I was in momma mode, ready to do anything to protect my children.

While I am still in momma mode when it comes to my two boys, I am not in momma mode when it comes to my thoughts and challenges.

So here I am, writing again.  I am not sure where this is going to go or when I will write.  I am not sure if I will share this with family and friends.  So if you found this page, please be prepared for the unknown and maybe a little bit of everything.

What I do know is this, I am a 36 year old wife, mom, daughter, niece, sister, friend.  I am me and I am still figuring out what I want to be when I grow up.  I work outside the home and if you look at my home, it is evident that housekeeping is not my super power.  My boys are my life.  My 9 year old is my compassionate, emotional, protective son.  He is also a clown that inherited my desire for perfectionism (our perfectionism does not extend to keeping the house clean!).  My 3 year old is my rainbow, though he moves through life like a storm.  He is vivacious (nice way to describe the crazy energy he has).  He is in awe of his brother.  Both of them laugh with a joy that challenges all darkness to leave the room.  My 6 year old, he watches us from heaven.  There is so much more I could say, but today is his birthday and my heart is heavy, so maybe another day.  My husband is my sole mate, my best friend and sometimes the person that can push all my buttons!  I have known him and he has been by my side for over half my life.  He gets me better than anyone and he would probably tell you he doesn't get me at all.

When my son died, my heart was broken and while the chasms remain, I do not remain in the depths of them.  In spite of grief, I find joy.